Most caregivers care for their family members at home, even continuing past being recognized. Even if they might not love the person for whom they are caring, could caregivers do otherwise and come out of the experience a whole person? Could they ever again find happiness if they had not done their best for their family member? Thinking only from a selfish standpoint, one’s mental and emotional survival should be an adequate reason to answer, "No."

However, more compelling reasons exist. Many people think that because persons with dementia do not always express feelings or thoughts, they do not have them. Close observation proves this assumption wrong. In some ways, persons with Alzheimer’s are similar to a small child. They can express every emotion in some way. A new parent exults with each new occurrence in a baby’s progress. A caregiver finds joy in every familiar word, gesture, or facial expression - perhaps a smile, a look of recognition, or an acknowledgment of some sort. With fewer joyful occasions as time passes, a caregiver takes even greater joy from them because of their rarity. Although those with dementia cannot fully talk, it is likely that each year, they will say words not spoken in the previous years of their illness. Except the last few days of life, they will give signs of awareness. That alone should make one want to continue to take care of them. Going through this experience, a caregiver can become a kinder, gentler, and more fully developed person.

We live in a fast-paced society, with less time for thoughtful reflection and healthy release of emotions. So it seems reasonable that most people will not think about caregiving. As our population ages, however, many will face this situation. Some will choose to step forward and care for their family members. One hopes that government assistance will become more oriented toward making it easier for them to do so at home.

One’s background may make one ill prepared to be a caregiver. However, one will find that the personal qualities that one does have (e.g., spirituality, creativity, initiative, determination, and devotion to a family member) can compensate. As their family member deteriorates, caregivers will sometimes think that they cannot handle the next challenge. When the need arises, however, they can learn the required skills. This book should help others believe this, teach them how to get the needed skills, and shorten the time until they gain confidence in their abilities.